Some quotes:

- This was Marianne, the revolutionary heroine, the French equivalent of Uncle Sam. This being France, instead of a bearded old uncle who looks as if he should be advertising fried chicken, they have a seminaked woman.

- Florence and I were heading almost to the far end of the island, to the wonderfully named little port of Ars, which was pronounced just as rudely as I hoped. I’d insisted on buying the bus ticket myself, purely for the thrill of getting on and asking the driver, ‘Do you go as far as arse?’  There are English cities where that would get you killed. And I was looking forward to my next Paris dinner party, when the conversation would turn to holidays and I’d be able to tell a girl, ‘I love arse.’  All in all, a great place to buy a holiday home, if only for the postcards you could send to all your friends.

Frog and snail eaters

- When they’re not being excessively polite, the French can be astonishingly obscene.

- If the bible had been written by a frenchman, there would have been a lot more recipes in it.

- The French are proud of being individualistic. They present it as proof they have « caractère », rather than being bland pack animals like English football fans  and all Scandinavians.

- In France, when a girl says no she often means yes. So does a guy, for that matter. I’ not saying that they want to get raped. Though sometimes getting good service in France does feel a bit like non-consensual sex.

- In France, there is no such thing as an innocent invitation to dinner.

Beside Stephen Clarke, you can also read this one, which must be less fun but probably more cerebral: Paris Tales.

There must be tons of travel guides about Paris, but this one seems more interesting: Frommer’s irreverent guide to Paris. And please, buy a map, because some say that getting lost in Paris is not that romantic – which I totally disagree with, but I put my own map in my purse most of the time.

Then, you’ll be able to decide if you don’t rather go anywhere else in the world. Paris is supposed to be the most beautiful city and the most romantic (even if I don’t utterly agree on that), so you shouldn’t change your plans. Just be prepared.

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