Some quotes:

- This was Marianne, the revolutionary heroine, the French equivalent of Uncle Sam. This being France, instead of a bearded old uncle who looks as if he should be advertising fried chicken, they have a seminaked woman.

- Florence and I were heading almost to the far end of the island, to the wonderfully named little port of Ars, which was pronounced just as rudely as I hoped. I’d insisted on buying the bus ticket myself, purely for the thrill of getting on and asking the driver, ‘Do you go as far as arse?’  There are English cities where that would get you killed. And I was looking forward to my next Paris dinner party, when the conversation would turn to holidays and I’d be able to tell a girl, ‘I love arse.’  All in all, a great place to buy a holiday home, if only for the postcards you could send to all your friends.

Frog and snail eaters

- When they’re not being excessively polite, the French can be astonishingly obscene.

- If the bible had been written by a frenchman, there would have been a lot more recipes in it.

- The French are proud of being individualistic. They present it as proof they have « caractère », rather than being bland pack animals like English football fans  and all Scandinavians.

- In France, when a girl says no she often means yes. So does a guy, for that matter. I’ not saying that they want to get raped. Though sometimes getting good service in France does feel a bit like non-consensual sex.

- In France, there is no such thing as an innocent invitation to dinner.

Beside Stephen Clarke, you can also read this one, which must be less fun but probably more cerebral: Paris Tales.

There must be tons of travel guides about Paris, but this one seems more interesting: Frommer’s irreverent guide to Paris. And please, buy a map, because some say that getting lost in Paris is not that romantic – which I totally disagree with, but I put my own map in my purse most of the time.

Then, you’ll be able to decide if you don’t rather go anywhere else in the world. Paris is supposed to be the most beautiful city and the most romantic (even if I don’t utterly agree on that), so you shouldn’t change your plans. Just be prepared.

Next: « Preparing your trip: movies »

Everybody says Paris is soooo romantic, I’m not sure I guess why. But I definitely know that among other things, narrow streets of cobblestones (thank you Simon & Garfunkel), sunshine on Notre Dame’s gargoyles or making out on the Luxembourg’s benches is quite appealing. Even if I never make out on benches. Anyway. I apologize for my TOP 4, there are only romantic movies, but I like that. Action movies, kung-fu movies and sci-fi movies as well but most of them don’t take place in Paris neither help in understanding the French.

#4 – Amelie from Montmartre (Jean-Pierre Jeunet, 2001)

Even though it is going to give you a completely distorded and wrong idea of Paris, I think you have to watch this one. It got a lot of bad reviews in France: too silly, too kind, too romantic, too poetic, too nostalgic (some say this is nostalgia for Pétain’s collaborationist France…), but I’ll just say french movie critics are mostly annoying – and 32 millions people actually agree with me . Plus, the soundtrack is awesome (Yann Tiersen).

A young, solitary and quite unfriendly girl accidentally finds in her flat an old box full of someone else’s souvenirs. She decides to give it back to the owner, and if it makes him happy, she’s going to do some good to more people. In the meantime, she has to deal with her own happiness when she meets a guy who’s collecting identity pictures.

# 3- Two days in Paris (Julie Delpy, 2007)

Directed, written and played by Julie Delpy, who is perfect in this role: semi-psycho/ loony / crazy but fun and engaging french woman (and also sings quite well). She might as well be one in real life, but I kind of identify with her – which may not be so good. Two days in Paris is a little bit caricatural, but really hilarious sometimes.

A couple, she’s french, he’s american, and they get to spend two days in Paris. The poor guy won’t be spared: he’ll meet the crazy family, tons of ex boyfriends, racist taxi drivers,  discover strange french customs, tryito order a burger and so on.

# 2 – Broken english (Zoe Cassavetes, 2007)

I especially love this one because it does actually sound really « right » – the characters, the situations, the dialogues, and it does have a lot of sensibility. It’s not unforgettable, but it deserves to be watched. The soundtrack is great as well (Scratch Massive – the intro music is pure poetry).

Nora, a thirty something single new yorker, not so happy with her life, meets Julien, a cute and fun french guy. They have an affair, he goes back to France, and she decides, out of nowhere, to fly there and find him. She loses his number, meets a strange woman who thinks she’s her grand daughter and some other odd french people – but it gets better in the end.

# 1 – Before sunset (Richard Linklater, 2004)

One of my favourite romantic movies and one of the best of all times (OK, let’s not forget Casablanca, An affair to remember and hundreds more). It’s Before Sunrise’s sequel, so you have to watch it first (and then decide to go to Vienna as well). These two movies are impressive: nothing huge happens, it’s just about two people meeting, talking (for hours in real life, only for one and a half hour in the movie, so it’s perfectly bearable), and becoming intimate. Sounds boring ? Believe me, it is not, mostly because Delpy and Hawke have a real chemistry. By the way, the two trailers are really bad. But I guess if you love action movies, soccer, beer, and fighting when you’re drunk, you won’t enjoy those movies.

They met in a train, spent one day together in Vienna, kind of liked each other and were supposed to meet again on the same platform in a few months. Nine years later, he comes in Paris, meets her  « accidentally », and guess what ? Same chemistry, same intimacy, and a lot of talking and hanging around.

Coming soon: Preparing your trip: songs.